Intimacy & Connection · Portage, MI
Intimacy & Desire Counseling for Couples in Portage, MI
One of the most frustrating cycles couples get stuck in goes something like this: one partner needs to feel emotionally close before they can want physical intimacy, and the other needs physical closeness to feel emotionally connected. Both wait for the other to go first, and the distance grows.
If affection has faded, you want different amounts of sex, or you mostly talk about chores and schedules, couples counseling can help you talk about it without blaming each other.
Common signs
When you feel more like roommates
- Physical affection has slowly disappeared, and nobody talks about it
- One of you wants more intimacy and the other feels pressured
- You're waiting to “feel like it,” and the feeling never comes
- You're together all the time but rarely talk about anything real
- Conversations are all logistics: kids, bills, work, chores
- Intimacy has become a source of rejection, resentment or guilt
Mood vs. desire
Why waiting to feel like it keeps couples stuck
A common misconception is that desire should come first, and that if you're not in the mood, something must be wrong. For many people, especially in long-term relationships, desire shows up after connection starts, not before.
In therapy we'll look at what helps each of you feel close, what gets in the way, and what you can change, without pressure, guilt or keeping score.
Friendship
Friendship comes first
Long-term relationships depend on friendship: interest in each other, appreciation, fun and being on the same side. When the friendship is strong, intimacy usually gets easier.
- Talking about sex and affection without shame or blame
- Wanting different amounts of sex or affection
- Everyday affection and emotional closeness
- Protecting couple time when life, kids or remote work crowd it out
- Healing after rejection, betrayal or long dry spells
- Keeping romance going in a long-term relationship
What to expect
Talking about it in sessions
This is relationship therapy, not sex therapy. We'll talk openly and respectfully, at a pace that works for both of you. As with all couples work, I meet with each of you individually first, which often makes it easier to say things you haven't said at home.
“Sometimes desire is something you discover—not something you wait for.”
Getting started
How sessions work
Reach out
Call, email or send an appointment request. Samantha will get back to you to find a time.
Meet one-on-one first
For couples and family work, Samantha meets with each person individually for one session before everyone meets together, so each person can share their side.
In person or online
Meet at the Portage office on W. Centre Ave. or by Zoom or phone from anywhere in Michigan, Florida or South Carolina. Self-pay sessions run 45 minutes.
Insurance accepted: Blue Cross Blue Shield (BCBS), Blue Care Network (BCN), Priority Health, UnitedHealthcare (UHC), TRICARE. Self-pay rates and policies are on the Rates & Insurance page.
Questions
Intimacy counseling questions
Can a marriage survive without intimacy?
Some couples are content with little physical intimacy, and that's okay when both people agree. It becomes a problem when one or both partners feel lonely, rejected or resentful. That's when talking it through with a therapist helps.
What is desire discrepancy?
It's when partners want different amounts or kinds of intimacy. It is extremely common in long-term relationships and is something couples can work on together.
Is this sex therapy?
Samantha is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, not a certified sex therapist. Her focus is the relationship: communication, emotional connection, desire and affection between partners.
We're both so busy. How do we make time?
That's often part of what we work on. Sessions and the Re-Date Your Marriage™ course both focus on habits busy couples can keep up.
Does insurance cover couples therapy?
Sometimes. Samantha is in network with BCBS, Blue Care Network, Priority Health, UnitedHealthcare and TRICARE, but many plans only cover couples or family sessions in certain situations. Call the number on your card and ask about family or couples psychotherapy benefits before your first session. Self-pay couples sessions are $200.
Office & online
Intimacy counseling near Kalamazoo
The office sits on W. Centre Avenue between Oakland Drive and S. Westnedge, about two minutes from Portage City Hall and six from Crossroads Mall. It’s roughly 15 minutes from downtown Kalamazoo and WMU, under 20 from Texas Township, Vicksburg, Oshtemo and Mattawan, and within half an hour of Paw Paw, Plainwell, Richland and Battle Creek. Not close by? Sessions are also available by Zoom or phone anywhere in Michigan, South Carolina or Florida.
Therapize Counseling & Wellness
1611 W. Centre Ave., Suite 201
Portage, MI 49024
More services
Other ways I can help
Couples & Marriage Counseling
For couples who keep having the same argument, feel like roommates, or want to feel close again.
Pre-Marital Counseling
Talk about money, family, conflict and expectations before the wedding.
Blended Families
Stepparents, stepkids, exes and new siblings. Help from a therapist who lives in a blended family too.
Ethical Non-Monogamy
Therapy for polyamorous, open and ethically non-monogamous relationships, without judgment.
Affair & Infidelity Recovery
For couples dealing with a physical or emotional affair, whether you stay together or not.
Co-Parenting Counseling
For separated and divorced parents, and stepparents, who want less conflict and kids kept out of the middle.
Let's connect.
Schedule a couples session
Reach out to talk about what you are looking for and whether we are a good fit. In person in Portage, or online anywhere in Michigan, South Carolina or Florida.