The Curse of the Disneyland Parent: Navigating Co-Parenting Challenges

Growing up, many of us remember how family dynamics worked: when one parent said no, the other might offer a loophole. There was tension at times, but also a sense of balance. As adults, especially those navigating modern co-parenting arrangements, that balance can become much harder to achieve—particularly when roles and responsibilities shift dramatically.

Today, it’s increasingly common for women to be the primary breadwinners and for fathers to step into more domestic roles. This can work beautifully—until it doesn’t. When these relationships end, co-parenting begins, and often with it comes unexpected challenges.

One of those challenges is what I call the “Disneyland Parent” dynamic.

The Disneyland Parent is the one who aims to be the fun one—the entertainer, the friend, the one who avoids conflict and says yes to everything. This can stem from guilt, insecurity, or simply a desire to stay connected. While the intent might be loving, the results can be confusing for children and frustrating for the other parent.

This isn’t about judging another parent—it’s about understanding how different approaches to parenting, especially post-separation, can deeply affect a child’s emotional development and behavior. One parent may try to set structure and boundaries, while the other resists, viewing limits as unkind or unnecessary. The result? Children caught in the middle, unsure whose expectations to follow.

So how do we manage this as co-parents, step-parents, or caregivers?

Here are a few therapeutic insights I offer to clients:

• Children thrive with consistency. Even if only one household provides structure, that environment still matters. It models emotional safety and reliability.
• Boundaries are not punishment—they’re security. Kids may resist them in the moment, but clear expectations help them understand their world.
• Co-parenting doesn't require agreement on everything—but it does require communication. If you can’t align on values, try to at least align on key expectations: bedtime, school behavior, screen time.
• It’s okay to be the “boring” parent. You may not be the favorite in the short term, but long-term trust and respect are built on consistency, not chaos.
• Self-awareness matters. If guilt is driving lenient parenting, address it. Children don’t benefit from a parent trying to be their best friend—they benefit from a parent who shows up with presence and purpose.

Raising children between two homes is never easy. But the goal isn’t perfection—it’s partnership, however imperfect. And sometimes, that means one parent holds the line while the other learns how to.

After all, Disneyland is a great place to visit.But no kid should be raised there.