In today’s world, it's easy to assume that love and connection should just “happen.” We often grow up believing that being in a relationship — or a marriage — is a milestone we’re entitled to, a reward for finding the “right person.” But the truth is: relationships don’t exist on autopilot. They are living, evolving commitments that require effort, motivation, and accountability from both partners.

Relationships Are Earned, Not Owed

The desire to love and be loved is deeply human. But desire alone isn’t enough to sustain a relationship. A healthy connection requires consistent effort, emotional presence, and a willingness to grow. It involves difficult conversations, mutual support, and shared responsibility.

You are not entitled to a relationship just because you want one — and neither is anyone else. It's something both people have to actively work toward. And that work includes being emotionally available, honest, and accountable — even when it’s hard.

Not Everyone Is Capable — And That’s Okay

Some people, whether due to mental illness, trauma, burnout, or life circumstances, are not in a place where they can meet the demands of a relationship. That’s not a flaw — it’s a reality. Sometimes the timing isn’t right. Some people may never be ready. And continuing to push forward in a relationship where one or both partners are not emotionally available can lead to frustration and pain for everyone involved (including the kids).

Understanding this may be a blow to your pride, but can also be freeing. It helps us stop trying to “fix” things that require space, healing, or simply honesty about limitations.

There’s No Relationship Without Reciprocity

One-sided relationships are not sustainable. If one person is consistently giving while the other is taking — emotionally, physically, or mentally — the imbalance will erode the connection over time. Relationships thrive on reciprocity. Not in a transactional sense, but in the spirit of shared responsibility and mutual care.

If you find yourself always doing the emotional labor, or constantly forgiving without change, or waiting endlessly for your needs to matter — it may be time to step back and assess whether both people are truly committed and capable of doing what it takes to sustain a relationship. Because love, in its healthiest form, is not passive. It shows up. It engages.

Ultimately, Love Is an Action

Love isn’t just a feeling you possess — it’s a choice you make, over and over again. It lives in the daily actions, the small efforts, the follow thorugh to show up with intention and care. When both people are capable and committed to doing love — not just experiencing it — that’s when a relationship becomes something meaningful and lasting.

Because while every person deserves love, no one is owed a relationship. Connection must be mutual, nurtured, and chosen — not assumed.